


Joe Biden X Female Reader (18+)

by FantasyLover369



Category: Political RPF
Genre: 2020 US Presidential Election, Age Difference, American Presidents, Blow Jobs, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Cock Slut, Cock Worship, Come Eating, Come Shot, Come Swallowing, Come as Lube, Comedy, Comedy RPF, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Democrat, Dick Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Ejaculate, Erotica, Eventual Smut, Explicit Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Face Slapping, Face-Fucking, Fantasy, Female Ejaculation, Fourth Wall, French Kissing, Fucked Up, Fucking, Funny, Gentle Kissing, Gratuitous Smut, Groping, Hot, Hot Sex, Humorous Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, In-Jokes, Intense, Jokes, Kissing, Large Cock, Love, Lust, Maledom, Maledom/Femsub, Master/Slave, Multiple Orgasms, Naked Cuddling, Naked Female Clothed Male, Naughty, Office Blow Jobs, Old Age, Older Characters, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Parody, Penis In Vagina Sex, Penis Size, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Political Parties, Politics, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Post-Coital Cuddling, Praise Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Reader-Insert, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romantic Comedy, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Scent Kink, Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Humor, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Tension, Sexy, Shameless Smut, Simultaneous Orgasm, Size Kink, Skull Fucking, Slapping, Smut, Sugar Daddy, Top Joe Biden, Touching, True Love's Kiss, Vaginal Sex, White House
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:00:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28840545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyLover369/pseuds/FantasyLover369
Summary: In this one, "Creepy Joe" is your president, daddy, also god, and you're his nasty little slut. And Hunter has all your sex tapes on his laptop. Shocking. The fuck am I doing with my life?
Relationships: Joe Biden/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 16





	Joe Biden X Female Reader (18+)

**Author's Note:**

> With the inauguration so close, I decided to create this outlandish masterpiece... because, clearly, I have issues. Also, Joe Biden is fucking hot. I mean, honestly, I had to do this, especially since Joe Biden is a womanizer who can't keep his hands to himself. I wrote this in two hours, so, hope it's good enough.  
> BTW THIS IS ALL A JOKE. DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. SO, BEGONE SJW SNOWFLAKES!

It's Joe Biden, your master, your daddy, your god, and also the president. In he walks with that punchable face, that charming smile, optimistic personality, and a bulge that would make even the red-blooded Republicans drool and yearn to be pegged sore. He's been inhaling the scent of your hair since you were ten, and now that you've finally turned eighteen, he can hardly wait to froth your fertile womb with his grandpa's homemade vanilla frosting. He needs that mouth of yours, your succulent lips to engulf his veinous cock, to drain his wrinkled balls, and drink his kool-aid as if your life depends on it. Bill Clinton is jealous.  
"Hello, daddy."  
You purr, sitting on the desk, naked with nothing but a collar with a leash on, patiently waiting for him like a good little girl. He winks at you, grinning smugly, knowing that after the following dirty deed, you won't be able to finger yourself for a week, month, or maybe even a year.  
"Get on your knees, kitten. Daddy's got something for you to eat."  
You obey, and, after unpacking his sirloin beef, you suck daddy's stony cock with passion, licking its lavender cap each time you withdraw, often sucking it like a lollipop. And his balls, those soft, luscious balls! You kiss and pamper them, making him swoon with joy, joy so unalloyed, undiluted, unbridled, he'll probably pass out in a few seconds. When you finally deepthroat his leaking stallion, his girth stretches your walls, forcing you to make a horse face and not the kind Trump was talking about. Like a vacuum cleaner, you suck his throbbing cock with lust and energy, his balls slapping your neck, while hoping you'll still be able to eat and drink afterward. His bestial noises, akin to a tortoise during mating season, make sweet, slow love to your virgin ears, again, like a tortoise. In response, you moan, tickling his cucumber with the vibrations, almost breaking his own knucklebones as he grips the edge of the desk, struggling to keep either awake, alive, or just withholding his seed from abruptly bursting. Maybe all three. When he eventually nears climax, he pounds your neck sore before stopping to press you face-down in his crotch as his ancient seed swirls downward into your belly. You're desperate. You lust for his vanilla ice cream, considering it's the only thing you've been eating. You're on a strict diet, after all.  
"Oh, sweetie. You're getting better each day. And for that, Daddy-President's gonna reward you. Hey, Barack!"  
"What?"  
"Play Despacito."  
"Sure thing, bud."  
"The one that's, you know... By Lui Vuitton. No, uh... Slowed down one with reverb. You know the thing?"  
"Ah, gotcha. By Lui Fonsi, featuring Daddy Yankee. There you go."  
"Thanks."  
"No problem."  
"Alright, sweetheart. Now, just lie down on top of the desk, and let daddy take over. Okay?"  
"Okay, daddy."  
You do just that and spread your legs wide, sweating, biting your lower lip in anticipation for the moment when your pussy lips are expanded by his bedewed mushroom.  
"Are you ready, baby?"  
"Oh, daddy. Yes, I am. I need you so bad."  
"That's my girl."  
You gasp in delight when his cock slips in and impacts your a-spot, the spot that made you so willing to be his slave in the first place. Yes, it wasn't money that won your heart. It was his cock. Now keep reading! As he sinks balls-deep inside, your textured walls tighten from the excitement, and you can feel every rhythmic pulse, hypnotizing your weak mind, rendering you into a drunk whore that needs a pillow shoved down her throat because she can't stop wailing like a siren. The entire White House knows you want to be destroyed, raped, owned, impregnated, and fucked hard without mercy. The rest is classified.  
"It feels so good! Fucking hot!"  
"Yeah?"  
"I want more! Fuck me hard!"  
"Yeah? You want more?"  
Amid the intense, passionate, sinful thrusting, he starts to dexterously stimulate your swollen clitoris, doubling your pleasure, thus causing your birth canal to curl and embrace his juicy cock tighter, thrilling the old man. Each time he smashes into your cervix, sobriety and rationality dissipate. Your form is consumed by unspeakable euphoria, paralyzed, stiff, squirming with eyes rolling and tongue lolling, like a typical ahegao chick, except you're not underage. By now, you are soaking in your own sweat, and his, or is that Rudy Guilliani's? It's not your turn yet, big boy.  
"I'm coming!"  
"Me too, baby. Me too."  
That's what they all said.  
"I...I...I can't..."  
"Don't hold back, sweets. Daddy wants his little girl to come."  
With a rhapsodic scream, you achieve two orgasms simultaneously. Your lemonade spills like a waterfall, mixing with daddy's sherbet and soaking the carpet. His knees buckle as his balls are emptied, relishing in the life of filling his slave's belly nightly with his skim-milk. The sensation of his whip cream jetting into your core is like heaven, it reminds you of who you are, and that is Joe Biden's kitty. He leans in to kiss you, groping your breasts, massaging your shoulders, and occasionally smacking you on the cheek. He sniffs your hair one last time, then gazes into your eyes, adoring your winsome smile that you gift him with after every session. You are his, for he owns you. I mean, you were bought for a measly amount of six-hundred-sixty-six-thousand dollars. Pretty cheap for such a lovely nymphet. As the two of you continue to cuddle, Joe still inside you, relaxing, a peculiar smell rouses your attention, and...  
"Rudy Guilliani? What are you doing here?"  
Cliche. By the way, can someone bring in a Febreeze?  
"What do you mean? I've been here since you two were fucking. Don't you remember? I mean, I know you have dementia, and all, but the author did explicitly mention me."  
"What? That's it? C'mon, man! Just because the author mentions you, it doesn't mean you have the perm... P-permissive... P-per... an invitation to barge in and leer at us. What's your name, again?"  
"Hah! Look who's talking. Moreover, since when were you so fuckable all of a sudden?"  
"I don't know, ask the author, Barap Obama. Now, where's Major and my cocaine?"


End file.
